Well, it's been a long ass time since I lost posted an update, but I'm bored and at work so I'll just post one now.

As of last update, things were looking great. Finally got a job, was about to move out of the home, looking forward to living in Chicago, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Flash forward almost six months, and I'm looking for a way out.

I know, I know. "Someone that doesn't like their job?!? Call the news!"

Everybody hates their job, so my story is nothing new, unique, or really noteworthy in any way, but I feel like griping and might as well do it somewhere.

Basically, it's a very odd job. Parts are actually quite good and fulfilling, but overall there's just so much crap that I don't even care about any of it anymore. The people I directly work with are cool, but my supervisors and the ones that call the shots in the head office are gigantic pricks with a massive holier-than-thou attitude and act like they have everything together even though they couldn't find their own A-hole with two hands and it takes them at least a day to get the most simplistic thing done. I really like the area I live and the people I meet on a regular basis during meetings, but overall just the rigmarole quotas and requirements that I'm forced to follow likewise prevent really good things from getting done that should be getting done and prevent really strong, local working relationships from being formed.

Add to all that, everything is so bogus that, even though I have so damn much work, there's no incentive to work hard or well. In fact, long hours (which are a given) are the only thing we get a bonus for in terms of future time out, but they're such pricks about time-off that even trying to get weekends off is a complete and total chore.

And on top of all that is the fact that I've met a girl who I really like while on the job, but budget cuts led to her position being terminated, her deciding that she just wanted to get the hell out of Illinois, and moving out East. We had just formed a connection, and when she visited town a short while back the interest was definitely shared, but the long-distance nature of the fact has prevented anything really big from forming. A thousand miles is a bit much to try to form a relationship around, even if we are really complementary in any number of things, like politics, sense of humor, general likes and dislikes, comedy, movies, TV, books, etc., etc. I don't believe in that soul mate crap or love at first site, but after a few dates with her I can honestly say that if I thought for an instant she was interested in taking our thing from just random macking/making out to the next level of an actual relationship, I would drop everything and just move out east with her, job or no job.

But alas, kinda hard to tell. Our long-distance conversations, while always positive and always definitely affectionate, are just not enough of a gauge to see if the suggestion of me moving out to where she is (even if we didn't live together) would be seen as a crazy good thing or a just crazy crazy thing.

So.... stuck in a rock and a hard place, here. I love the area and the people up here, but I hate the job and the people that run the show. I like a girl enough to drop everything on the off-chance that a relationship could be formed even knowing that the odds of forming a new relationship in a new place and without any job prospects would be pretty near impossible, but I don't want to mess something up by appearing all creepy at mentioning such a significant move for someone that I've really only gone out on a handful of dates with.

She won't be in town again until November, but I don't wait too long and risk her forming an actual relationship out there while we're just in the make-out/cuddly talk stage or to find myself getting stuck in the friend w/ only make out benefits zone.

Small problems comparatively, I know.... but I don't like being in this situation where I feel like I'm back in grade school thinking about my first crush and what could've been while I'm in a job that I really hate and the honest-to-goodness only things holding me down is the fear of unemployment, not wanting to burn bridges in case a potential relationship didn't work or never materialized, and a pet that I could easily take with me to any place I wanted to move to.

Oh well, but enough of my problems. Back to wasting time at work regardless of the consequences.... who knows.... maybe this sudden and complete lack of drive is just my subconscious's way of telling me that I want to get fired to cut my last real tie to the area and to man up and go for the goal and ask her if she's interested in taking this to the next level already....